Matcbox

Why First Messages Matter

Research shows that personalized first messages receive 3x more responses than generic greetings. The key is showing genuine interest while being memorable and easy to respond to.

"Hey." "Hi there." "How's your day?" If these are your go-to conversation starters, it's time for an upgrade. After analyzing thousands of successful first messages on MatchBox, we've identified the patterns that consistently get responses and lead to meaningful conversations.

The best conversation starters do three things: they show you've read the person's profile, they're easy and fun to respond to, and they give the other person something specific to talk about. Here are 50 proven conversation starters organized by type, plus tips on when and how to use them.

The Science Behind Great Conversation Starters

What Our Analysis Found

67%

Response rate for profile-based openers

3.2x

Longer conversations from question-based starters

45%

Higher engagement with humor-based messages

89%

Preference for specific over generic messages

50 Conversation Starters That Work

Profile-Based Openers

Reference something specific from their profile to show you actually read it

I see you're into hiking! What's the most beautiful trail you've discovered recently?

Your travel photos are amazing! Which destination surprised you the most?

I noticed you love cooking - what's your go-to comfort food to make?

Fellow coffee enthusiast here! What's your current favorite brewing method?

I saw you mentioned [hobby] - I've been wanting to try that! Any beginner tips?

Your book collection looks impressive! What's the last book that completely absorbed you?

I love that you volunteer at [organization]! What drew you to that cause?

Your dog/cat is adorable! What's their personality like?

I see you're a [profession] - that must be fascinating! What's the best part of your job?

Your weekend adventures look fun! What's on your bucket list for this year?

Question-Based Starters

Open-ended questions that invite detailed responses and show genuine curiosity

What's something you've learned recently that completely changed your perspective?

If you could have dinner with anyone, living or dead, who would it be and why?

What's the most spontaneous thing you've done this year?

What's a skill you'd love to master if you had unlimited time?

What's your favorite way to spend a Sunday morning?

If you could live anywhere in the world for a year, where would you choose?

What's something that never fails to make you laugh?

What's the best advice you've ever received?

What's a goal you're working toward that you're excited about?

What's your favorite season and what do you love most about it?

Playful & Fun Starters

Light-hearted messages that showcase your personality and sense of humor

Quick question: Are you team pineapple on pizza or team absolutely not?

I have to settle a debate - what's the best Disney movie and why is it [your choice]?

Okay, honest question: Do you actually fold your fitted sheets or just crumple them like the rest of us?

Would you rather have the ability to fly or be invisible? (This is very important for compatibility)

I'm making a playlist for road trips - what song absolutely has to be on it?

Coffee or tea? This might determine if we can be friends 😄

What's your go-to karaoke song? (Please don't say you don't do karaoke)

If you were a superhero, what would your completely useless superpower be?

What's the weirdest food combination that you actually love?

Beach vacation or mountain adventure? Asking for science 🧪

Current Events & Seasonal

Timely conversation starters that feel natural and relevant

Have you watched [popular current show]? I'm completely obsessed and need someone to discuss it with!

With the new year coming up, what's one thing you're most looking forward to?

Any good Netflix recommendations? I just finished [show] and need something new!

How are you surviving this crazy weather we've been having?

Have you tried any new restaurants lately? I'm always looking for good food recommendations!

What's your take on this whole [current trend] thing? I'm curious what you think!

Are you doing anything fun for the holidays, or keeping it low-key?

Have you been to any good concerts or events recently?

What's your summer/winter survival strategy? Any hidden gems you recommend?

Are you following [current sports event/cultural event]? What do you think about it?

Creative & Unique Starters

Memorable messages that stand out from the typical opening lines

I'm conducting a very important survey: What's the best late-night snack and why?

Your mission, should you choose to accept it: Recommend me something new to try this weekend.

I have a theory that you can tell a lot about someone by their grocery cart. What's always in yours?

Plot twist: We're both stranded on a desert island. What three things did you bring?

I'm trying to convince my friends that [something from their profile] is amazing. Help me build my case?

Quick! You have 30 seconds to pitch me your favorite hobby. Go!

I'm starting a very exclusive club for people who [reference their interest]. Are you in?

Breaking news: Local person (me) seeks adventure recommendations from expert (you).

I have a confession: I've never [something common]. Should I be worried?

Your profile suggests you might be the perfect person to settle this debate I'm having...

How to Customize These Starters

Pro Tips for Personalization

• Add their name: Messages with names get 35% more responses
• Reference specific details: Show you read their full profile, not just photos
• Match their energy: Formal profile = more professional opener, fun profile = playful starter
• Keep it concise: 2-3 sentences max - make them want to learn more
• End with a question: Give them a clear way to respond

The Do's and Don'ts of First Messages

DO This

• Read their entire profile before messaging
• Ask open-ended questions
• Show genuine curiosity about their interests
• Use proper spelling and grammar
• Be authentic and let your personality show
• Reference something specific from their photos or bio

DON'T Do This

• Send generic "Hey" or "How are you?" messages
• Comment only on physical appearance
• Write novels - keep it concise
• Copy-paste the same message to everyone
• Be overly forward or inappropriate
• Ask for personal information (phone, address) immediately

What to Do After They Respond

Getting a response is just the beginning! Here's how to keep the conversation flowing:

Respond promptly but not immediately: Show interest without seeming desperate (1-4 hours is ideal)
Ask follow-up questions: Show you're listening and want to learn more
Share something about yourself: Make it a two-way conversation
Suggest meeting after 5-7 messages: Don't let the conversation drag on too long online

The Bottom Line

Great conversation starters are about connection, not perfection. The goal isn't to impress someone with your wit or creativity (though those don't hurt!). It's to show that you're a thoughtful person who pays attention and is genuinely interested in getting to know them.

Remember, even the best conversation starter won't work with everyone – and that's okay! You're not trying to get a response from every person you message. You're trying to start meaningful conversations with people who might be a good match for you.

Ready to Start Better Conversations?

Pick 3-5 conversation starters from different categories that feel natural to you. Customize them based on each person's profile, and watch your response rate improve!

Remember: Authenticity beats perfection every time. Be yourself, be curious, and be kind.

50 Conversation Starters That Actually Get Responses